EATING BY THE BOOK - Session 2

"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." Hosea 4:6

Today we added to our knowledge base with the following facts:

1. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women.
2. Diet plays a significant role in protecting or predisposing people to heart disease.
3. Alabama is located in the center of the "stoke belt"; a place where the risk of stroke is 34% higher for the general population that it is in other areas of the country.
4. Researchers believe that the increased risk of death from a stroke for those living in the Stroke Belt is due to greater-than-average rates of obesity, cigarette smoking, and high blood pressure.
5. Poor diets (diets high in animal fat, excessive fried foods, and sugar) are lifestyle choices that lead to overweight and obesity.
6. 30-34.9% of the adults living in Alabama are obese.
7. Over the next 15 years, the number of adults who are either overweight or obese will double.

Paul said it best in Romans 14 when he said, "None of us lives to himself...". The decisions we make concerning how we take care of our bodies affects not only us, but everyone around us. In order to reach God's full potential, we must take seriously that our "bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit within..."  "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

Next week we will complete this series with a lesson that focuses on how to lose unwanted body fat (if needed) and become a healthier version of you.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

EATING BY THE BOOK - Session 1

You are God's Masterpiece and your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit that lives within you. This three-part series will help you learn practical ways to make better choices with the food you choose to put into your "temple".

YOU MAKE ME CRAZY - 6. I Make Me Crazy

In this lesson, I Make Me Crazy, we reviewed the most basic, yet the most challenging choice every Christian must make in his/her spiritual journey--walking in the footsteps of Christ. Better said, becoming a "disciple". Hidden in plain view, numerous passages of scripture (most are the words of Christ) show us the choice that all believers must make on a minute-by-minute basis. Today, we looked at a few of those passages. One passage we did not look at was Matthew 16:24-27. As He often does, Jesus presents us with an interesting dichotomy--what we want to save, we must first lose.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done. (Matthew 16:24-27)

Facing uncertain futures, we often stress and worry about the outcomes. Instead of trusting God, we worry that things might not turn out the way we hope. The burdens make us weary and are often more than we can bear. Even though we might be living with Christ as our Savior, we are not fully surrendered to letting Christ live in us. Although we might have peace with God, we don't have the peace of God. Perhaps we can rest in the fact that we are not doomed to eternal separation from God, but our soul is constantly troubled and weary from the concerns that face us. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28-29...

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28-29)

Jesus offers us rest. But it is only when we take His yoke upon us that we learn from Him and that we will find rest for our souls (mind, will, and emotions). We can have rest, and yet still have troubled souls. We find rest for our souls when we take the yoke of Christ and place it upon us. An ox learns the voice and commands of his master only when he wears the yoke. Receiving Christ is a gift. Walking with Christ is a choice.

Our concerns for the outcomes of our smallest and greatest issues in life can be worry-free when we trust in the fact that we are God's masterpiece. He created each of us. Jesus died for each of us. God's Spirit lives in each of us once we receive His gift of salvation. As we look at our uncertain futures, we can be free from worry, fear, and stress if we walk in God's will for our lives.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-19)

Next week we will hear from David Meinz, "America's Personal Health Improvement Expert". Mr. Meinz is a very entertaining, funny, and knowledgeable presenter on the topic of nutrition. The topic will be "Sound Advice On Healthy Eating". I first learned of Mr. Meinz while listening to one of his series aired on Focus on The Family. I know you will all enjoy Mr. Meinz.

YOU MAKE ME CRAZY - 5. Escaping The People-Pleaser Trap

There is nothing wrong with wanting to please others (Jesus even told us that we should put others before ourselves) as long as our motivation is driven by a servant's heart. However, people pleasing, based on envy and encouraged by peer pressure, is a "...dangerous trap..." (Proverbs 29.25)

The night before He was crucified, as Jesus walked with his disciples, He prayed to the Father: "...so that they may be one as we are one." (John 17:11). When we are one with God, we will care little about what people think of us. We only have to please One Person--God.

In our lesson today, we looked at the 5 reasons people-pleasing is a trap, and the 6 antidotes to breaking the "Approval Addiction".

Next week we will complete the You Make Me Crazy series with the final lesson titled: I Make Me Crazy. This lesson will teach us how to live more peaceful, stress-free lives as we learn how to NOT let our concerns for the outcome of situations in our life control us and make us go crazy.

YOU MAKE ME CRAZY - 4. Breaking Free From Abuse

Because of sin, we live in a broken world. A part of that broken world is abuse. I can say with little doubt that you have been abused, are being abused, or will be abused in some way or another. It might be a spouse who is insensitive and unloving, an employer/supervisor who takes credit for your work, or a relative who rejects you because of your faith in God. There are unlimited ways that we experience abuse--not only physical or sexual abuse. One thing is for certain, abuse is going to grow worse. Paul wrote to Timothy and said:

"You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times." 2 Timothy 3:1

In the eight verses that follow, Paul warns Timothy of how the behavior of people will grow increasingly abrasive and cruel. In other words, "We ain't seen Crazy, yet!" He tells Timothy to "Stay away from people like that!" Sadly, abuse (sexual, physical, verbal, and emotional) is to be expected in our broken world. The good news is that the Bible offers us a message of hope to break free from the abuse and recover from the pain that we might be living with as a result of the abuse.

This lesson, Breaking Free From Abuse, outlines seven Biblical steps to guide us in recovering from abuse, or helping someone else recover from abuse. King David understood abuse. He spent much of his life dealing with abuse. Everyone was after him. In over 100 passages, David expresses his fear, depression, anger, and his many enemies (some within his own family). You will see many references in the Psalms to David's battles with abuse.

No one understands abuse like Jesus. He was abused on a level we can not begin to understand, and He never once retaliated against his abusers. So, if you are experiencing an abusive situation now, or experiencing the pain spoken about by Job from a previous abuse, get alone with Jesus. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34:18. Then find someone you can trust that will help you break free from the abuse, or help you work through the abuse from your past. If you don't, you will carry the pain for your entire life. Job said:

"The churning inside me never stops; and each day confronts me with more suffering." Job 30:27

Start the healing process by first, admitting that you are being abused. Then follow the other six steps and find the wonderful peace that Job was eventually able to write:

"Put our heart right. Reach out to God. Put away any evil and wrong from our home. Then face the world again, firm and courageous. Then all your troubles will fade away from your memory, like floods that are past and remembered no more! Your life will be brighter than sunshine at noon, and life's darkest hours will shine like the dawn!" Job 11:13-17 (TEV)

What a beautiful passage of scripture for those of us who have at one time or another lived with the pain of abuse.

The slides from today's lesson are below. Next week, we will look at "Escaping The People-Pleaser Trap."

YOU MAKE ME CRAZY - 3. How to Resolve Conflict

NOTE: I believe today's lesson covers some very important topics. Instead of posting a narrative-type summary of the lesson, I felt it might be more helpful (especially for those who were not in class) if I post my teaching notes.

Conflict is in every day of our lives. You must learn the skills required to resolve conflict: at work, in your marriage, parents with children, friends, community, etc. Nobody taught you how to do it—not your parents and not while in school—but the Word of God can teach you how to become a peacemaker.

Peacemaking is NOT “avoiding” or “appeasing”. Avoiding is what cowards do. Appeasing is the work of someone who is co-dependent. You can’t just “grin and bear it” or “sweep it under the rug”. Conflict MUST be dealt with—the sooner, the better.

Why MUST conflict be dealt with? Unresolved conflict damages your spiritual life in three major ways:

1. FELLOWSHIP WITH GOD: “You can’t love God, whom you've never seen, if you don’t love the people you do see! To claim you love God while hating others makes you a liar!” 1 John 4:20
2. PRAYERS: “Husbands be considerate of your wives, and treat them with respect… so that nothing hinders your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7
3. HAPPINESS: “Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness.” James 3:18

The 7 steps to Conflict Resolution and Becoming a Peacemaker

1. TAKE THE INITIATIVE – MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
a. Time heals NOTHING!
b. Conflict is not resolved accidentally.
c. Don’t wait for them to come to you.
d. What you are pretending is NOT a problem, is your life.
e. Reconciliation takes priority over worship (see Matthew 5:23-24). DO IT AT ONCE!
f. The only way to resolve a conflict is to FACE IT!
g. FEAR causes us to wait/postpone. The dreaded words from a spouse: “We need to talk!”
1. Adam said to God, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Genesis 3:10
2. FEAR makes you…
 h. Defensive/Distant/Demanding
     3. HOLY SPIRIT gives us the ability to act in LOVE
      a. “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline!” 2 Timothy 1:7
b.  Love overcomes fear.

2. CONFESS MY PART OF THE CONFLICT: (ASK GOD FOR WISDOM)
a. “If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask Him, and He will gladly tell you…” James 1:5
b. 4 things you MUST do in setting up the meeting:
1. Choose the TIME
2. Choose the PLACE – Not the bedroom
3. PRAY before the meeting
4. Come with a POSITIVE ATTITUDE
c. The Bible teaches that the two (2) causes of CONFLICT are:
(1) SELF-CENTEREDNESS – If you are at peace, nothing bothers you. “When I’m at peace inside, what’s outside me doesn’t upset me.” (Marriage “incompatibility” is a joke—a lawyers excuse for a legal divorce. We are all different and incompatible.)
a) “What causes fights and quarrels among you? They are caused by selfish desires that are continually at war inside you?” James 4:1
        b)  Marriage-the greater your differences, the greater your potential for growth.
1. Primary purpose in Marriage is NOT to make you happy, but to make you HOLY… More like Jesus.
(2) PRIDE – Someone who gets their feelings hurt easily.
a) “Pride only leads to arguments…” Proverbs 13:10
     b) SECRET SENTENCE to break any logjam in a relationship, say: “I’m sorry. I was only thinking of myself.”
d. People often have blind spots—weaknesses you don’t see in your life.
e. Begin with humility—what is YOUR FAULT. Be humble, don’t stumble.
                i. Am I being unrealistic?
               ii. Am I being ungrateful?
              iii. Am I being sensitive?
               iv. Am I being OVER sensitive?
                v. Am I being too demanding
               vi. Am I being immature about the issue(s)?
f. Amygdala- Hard to remember details from major argument.
g. Focus on “relationship”- you’ll find some things are just not that important.

3. LISTEN FOR THE HURT (The emotion behind the words):
a. We argue over emotions not ideas.
b. Hurt people, hurt people! When people feel they are not being valued, they get mad. The more I hurt, the more I’m going to hurt you. Start with their needs, hurts, interest.
c. LISTEN TO THEM. Listen before you speak. 2 ears; 1 mouth.
d. “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” Phil. 2:4-5 (NIV)
i. You are most like Jesus when you are focusing on the hurts of somebody else rather than your own.
e. Seek to understand, before seeking to be understood. – Chinese proverb.
f. Soul-to-soul intimacy – many have never experienced this.
g. Pay attention to other’s needs instead of having others notice your needs. Both of you are imperfect.

4. CONSIDER THEIR PERSPECTIVE:
a. Stop looking at how far someone has to go, but how far they have come.
b. MY fears are legitimate; YOUR fears are irrational (rational-lies).
c. Be considerate of the fears of others.

5: TELL THE TRUTH TACTFULLY:
a. The truth will set you free, but you must say it with love, kindness, and with tact.
b. You say, “I just tell it like it is.” That means you are RUDE. A JERK! You don’t really care about other people.
i.“Speak the truth in love.” Ephesians 4:15
c. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively.
d. You are never persuasive by being abrasive.
e. Never get your point across by being cross.
f. Never use TRUTH as a club.
g. Truth wrapped in love is received easily. It’s all in the way you say it.

6. FIX THE PROBLEM, NOT THE BLAME:
a. Attack the problem, not each other.
b. Stop the BLAME game.
c. Malice: "You are just like your mother." "I know why you are like that..."
d. Things we should NEVER say in a marriage (tears down trust):
          1. Threatening a divorce. Make it work “if it kills you.
          2. Threatening to walk out.
          3. Bringing up someone’s parents.
          4. Never intimidate or threaten people.
e. Little people belittle people. Great people make people feel great.

7. FOCUS ON RECONCILIATION, NOT RESOLUTION:
a. Wisdom/maturity/Christ-likeness is…
          1. to disagree without being disagreeable.
          2. learning that you can have unity without uniformity.
          3. learning to walk hand-in-hand without having to see eye-to-eye.
          4. Having reconciliation without resolution.

Next weeks lesson: "Boundaries and Breaking Free From Abuse" 

YOU MAKE ME CRAZY - 2. Who Is Pushing Your Buttons?

Today we learned that God does get angry. Matter of fact, the Bible tells us that God "feels indignation every day." (Psalm 7:11). Jesus also got angry. When he entered the temple and overturned the tables of the money-changers, he even made a whip of cords. While in the synagogue in Capernaum, "he looked around at them (Pharisees) with anger..." (Mark 3:5).

The anger that God and Jesus displayed in the Bible was without sin. The anger that God feels every day, and the recorded events in the Bible of Jesus' anger is and was for the right reasons. "The Lord was angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the Lord..." (1 Kings 11:9). Paul tells us in Romans that "God's anger is being revealed from heaven against all impiety (lack of reverence) and against the iniquity of men who through iniquity suppress the truth." (Romans 1:18). The anger Jesus had in Capernaum was because he "...grieved at their (Pharisees) hardness of heart..." (Mark 3:5).

As we learn more about how to deal with Crazy Makers, much of our effort must center around self examination. We can't change others, but we can learn to react in a way that will bring glory to God. It requires that we be surrendered to the power of the Holy Spirit. We must grow in knowledge and wisdom if we are to be successful dealing with Crazy Makers. It will also ensure that we do not become Crazy Makers to others. Taking our knowledge beyond the classroom is dependent upon the priority we place on walking with God. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning...". (Proverbs 1:7; 9:10).

In today's lesson, I pointed out our brain's center of emotions--the amygdala. Located in the physical center of the head, the amygdala receive inputs from all of our senses and unconsciously processes those senses. It then sends signals to the body to prepare the body to react to a perceived threat, or to anticipate pleasure. In the case of a threat, fear and anger will manifest themselves in a similar physiological way: muscles tense up, burst of energy, increased heart rate, rise in blood pressure, increase rate of breathing, face becomes flush, and a release of adrenaline and noradrenalin. When someone "pushes your buttons", you will feel these sensations. It is then up to you to manage the body's natural survival instincts. (Look at slides 20 and 21 to see facts about Jesus' anger)

Anger is learned and can be unlearned, or you might say, the way we respond to our fear/anger can be learned. In this lesson we discussed the 5 ways to disarm button-pushers (slides 25-30). It requires hard work and training to ensure that our bodies respond and behave in a way that always brings glory to God. It takes a complete surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit. We MUST learn to fear the Lord and a life of apathy, impiety, and iniquity--things that make God angry.

The slides from today's lesson are below. Next week, our You Make Me Crazy study will continue with a lesson titled: "How to Resolve Conflict".