MARRIAGE BUILDER: Lesson 3

"Unless the Lord builds the house, the laborers labor in vain." Psalm 127:1
We could say... Unless the Lord builds the relationship, you labor in vain.

The focus of this lesson was on our importance to be one with God in a vertical relationship (oneness of spirit). Our great need for security and significance can ONLY be meet in God. The need we have to feel loved and significant (oneness of soul) is met through relationships with people. Only when we believe that we are secure and significant in God can we truly minister--unconditionally--that same love to our spouse, friend, or family member.

In this lesson we also looked at what happens when we turn to others, instead of God, as our source of security and significance. Regardless how wonderful your spouse may be, he/she cannot meet the deep need you have for security and significance. When others fail to satisfy your need for security and significance you end up feeling hurt and rejected. The pain causes you to build layers of protection to avoid being hurt again. Eventually, the communication suffers and the relationship crumbles.

When it comes to satisfying our great need for security and significance we basically have four choices: 

1. Ignore our needs...

2. Attempt to find satisfaction in achievements, work, children, materialism etc...

3. Attempt to meet our needs in each other...

4. Depend on the Lord to meet our needs.

MARRIAGE BUILDER: Lesson 2

God's perfect design (blueprint) for successful relationships is dependent on our individual oneness with Him. This not only holds true for relationships with spouses, but with family members, friends, coworkers, and others. Scripture teaches that you can only find complete security and significance in Christ--whether you feel it or not. So we could say: "Oneness with God is the foundation for oneness in marriage." In reality, oneness with God is the foundation for peace in all relationships. Jesus prayed to the Father that we might find this oneness...

"I pray...that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and i am in you. may they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me." (John 17:21)

FACT: Our deep need for security and significance MUST be met before we can function fully as God intended. 

The goal of oneness can be almost frightening when we realize that God does not intend for our personal needs of security and significance to be met in marriage--or any relationship--but in Him. Looking to someone other than Christ to meet your personal need for security and significance will ultimately disappoint you. 

As we progress in our study, you will learn that this first--very important--principle will serve as the foundation for all successful relationships.

MARRIAGE BUILDER: Lesson 1

We are all in pursuit of the same goal: A deep experience of personal intimacy through relationships. Why? Because only within the context of relationships can the deepest needs of human personality be met.

Scripture teaches that relationships offer two elements that are essential if we are to live as God intended:

1) The security of being truly loved and accepted;

2) The significance of making a substantial, lasting, positive impact on another person.

This week we talked about singleness and how it is the thread that connects us all -- everyone has at one time been single, or is single now. The best way to prepare for being married is to develop a oneness with God while you are single. It is in that oneness that we find God's blueprint for marriage--and all relationships.