The foundation of Soul Oneness is a mutual commitment to minister to one another's personal needs (security and significance).
The key to achieving Soul Oneness is to maintain the fundamental goal of ministry to our partner's deepest needs and to keep that goal inviolate. (Dr. Larry Crabb)
However, our instinct is to manipulate rather than minister. We manipulate because we believe that is the way we will satisfy our great needs of security (to be loved) and significance (to be valued). From a human perspective, three elements are required to shift from manipulation to ministry:
- A decisive and continuous willingness to adopt the commitment to minister;
- A substantial awareness of your partner's needs;
- A conviction that you are God's chosen instrument to touch those needs.
Everything we do has a goal. Goals are based on our desires, beliefs, and values. With every goal their is a purpose which is realized through our behavior. When we determine our goals, we can identify and challenge the wrong beliefs behind the goals. Once we identify our wrong beliefs, we can correct wrong behaviors.
- Whenever the goal of our behavior is essentially to change the other person--whether the change is good or bad--we are wrong.
- Unless there is the purpose of communicating love based on an awareness of needs, we qualify as manipulators, not ministers.
In every relationship (family, friends, and marriage), we are called to minister--put the needs of others before our own needs. God promises that He will meet our deep needs of security and significance. This is one of the greatest challenges in any relationship, especially in marriage. See what Dr. Crabb has to say:
What Are The Greatest Challenges Facing Marriages Today?
The slides from today's lesson are below. Next week we will continue with the MB Series with the lesson: Soul Oneness (Communication).
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