We all desperately need to be loved, but because we are broken people living in a broken world, sometimes the "love train" gets off track. So, how do we prevent those off-track excursions? Or, how do we find the tracks once we are derailed?
The video below "Broken By Darkness" is a picture of what relational conflict looks like:
Conflicts in relationships can begin with the smallest of disagreements and quickly escalate into full-blown standoffs. So how do we prevent them, and how do we escape their torment once they occur? In other words, how do we get the train back on the tracks when the inevitable happens?
Before I summarize the solution from today's lesson, watch the short video below and see one couple's attempt to resolve a head-splitting relational problem.
Just as the video illustrated, "It's not about _____." In times of personal pain and darkness, what we need most from each other is not answers, but presence.
All relational conflicts are born out of sin... the deadliest of all being PRIDE. It is because of our sin resulting in a broken relationship with God that we encounter human relationship conflicts. It is also because of sin that we remain derailed.
Before we can even think about restoring a human relationship conflict, we must first resolve our broken relationship with God. Sin breaks our fellowship with God. The first step in restoring a broken relationship with God is to recognize and admit that sin is the problem. As we have discussed in previous classes, we must Recognize the sin, Repent it, and then we are able to Restore our heart to a state of fellowship with God. Once this has happened, we can then address our human relationship conflicts.
When there is a conflict between you and another person, you need to get alone with God, first, as soon as possible. Just you and God. Recognize your sin (pride, frustration, jealousy, anxiousness, selfishness, worry, fear, critical spirit, etc.), and then ask God to forgive you and fill you with the fruit of His Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). We know we have reached this place of restoration when all nine of the fruit of the Spirit are evident (Galatians 5:22-23). Then go to the person you have the conflict with and say these words: "I am sorry for ________. Please forgive me." Do it quickly.
If you are ever approached by a person that you are having conflict with and they say those words to you, you should immediately respond with these words: "I forgive you." Nothing else! If they are your spouse or someone you love, you should say these words: "I forgive you and I love you." Nothing else!
Forgiveness does not mean that trust has been restored. If trust has been broken, it takes time for trust to be restored.
The mechanics of reconciliation look easy on paper, but it is one of the most difficult things you will ever do. It is difficult because it requires that you surrender ALL of yourself to God and trust Him to work through you. In a way, it is an act of worship. Your surrender to God is always the first step to healing your human relationship conflicts. When your pride tells you that you are right, remember... the opposite of PRIDE is HUMILITY.
"For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." Matthew 23:12
The slides used in today's lesson are below. If you weren't in class today, be sure to see the video below on our highlighted couple: Shay and Denise Nichols.
Audio File Test
Shay and Denise Nichols
Next Sunday (March 16th) we will have the S-Finder Jeopardy Review. Here are the topics.
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